Retreat.

Yesterday and today we had our iGO staff retreat. All 14 of us made the long trek to the booming metropolis of Palmer, Texas. Population just under 2,000. But let's be honest, the real Palmer is like population 50 with about 7,000 bulls, steer, cows, and longhorns? I ask that in the form of a question because apparently I fail to realize the difference. Though Shu and Ky tried to explain it to me, I really don't think this is something I will lose sleep over. All I know is that the house/big house/really really big house that we stayed in had about 1,000 additional dead animals represented inside. Let's not go there. I suppose they felt they had to make up for the serious lack of catchable fish in the pond.

Praise the Lord for faithful and generous supporters who are gracious to lend us (one of) their home(s) so that we can get away and spend some quality time eating, talking, praying, eating, throwing the football, eating, making a fire, cooking smores (smore what?), eating, "Cheer"ing, did I mention eating? We also ate. Often.

In all seriousness, the last 24 hours was so fruitful. Not only cause we ate lots of fresh fruit, which did happen. I told you we ate, right? Not only was it refreshing to get away in the middle of nowhere with a gorgeous home and beautiful view, it was so good to fellowship with other staff members, to get to know them on a deeper level, to vision cast for the future of iGO, to talk about what's missing, what's going well, to pray for one another, and to just be reminded and humbled at the fact that we even get to be a tiny part of this far greater thing that the Lord is doing...reaching the nations for His glory. Wow! On a personal level it was just refreshing for me to get away, be in a new place, and be forced to be a little more intentional with listening to the still, soft voice of the Father. This morning, praise Jesus, was one of the sweetest times I have had in the Word in a long time. Some would say I got my batteries recharged, others might say the Lord gave me a swift kick in the bottom, I would say...all of the above.

I'm at this place where I am questioning where I am gifted and why I am gifted and how that plays into this ministry that the Lord has called me to and burdened me for. How the heck am I gifted? I don't feel gifted in evangelism, which is funny, cause I work for a missions agency. I don't know if I am gifted in teaching, because I don't get to do it often enough to hone the skill even if I did have it. I mean, I've done spiritual gifts surveys and all that, but I just don't know how accurate those are played out in real life. I guess it's just that I have the desire to recognize where the Father has gifted me and how that fits in with what I could be doing at iGO, and how the Father will (hopefully) use me in future ministry at whatever church He calls John and I to.

I also really really really really really really wanna go to grad school/feel called to grad school but my logical mind is just going crazy over this and I have no clue what to do about that or what it would look like.

Oh well.

One day at a time, Lord.

PS- Sharpie pens are my new favorite. I mean, wow.